Abandonment in Jamaica Kincaids Autobiography of My...

Abandonment in Jamaica Kincaids Autobiography of My Mother Xuela, the protagonist of Jamaica Kincaids novel, The Autobiography of My Mother , comments, I felt I did not want to belong to anyone, that since the one person I would have consented to own me had never lived to do so, I did not want anyone to belong to me (112). The outward coldness of this statement is clearly observed, but it is the underlying statement Xuela is making that is truly a significant theme within the novel; Xuelas fear of abandonment. She aborts the child she is carrying, leaving her barren. She chooses not to be a mother herself. She refuses to form close relationships with men or women. She is terrified that, like her mother, everyone around her will†¦show more content†¦Xuelas pregnancy is a defining moment for her. Unfortunately, this moment is defined by Xuelas sense that her own mother abandoned her at birth. She is unwilling to give life, unwilling to belong to anyone, and unwilling to have anyone belong to her. She performs a self-inflicted abortion . She comments: I had never had a mother, I had just recently refused to become one, and I knew then that this refusal would be complete. I would never become a mother, but that would not be the same as never bearing children. I would bear children, but I would never be a mother to them. I would bear them in abundance; they would emerge from my head, from my armpits, from between my legs; I would bear children, they would hang from me like fruit from a vine, but I would destroy them with the carelessness of a god. I would bear children in the morning, I would bathe them at noon in a water that came from myself, and I would eat them at night, swallowing them whole, all at once. (96-97) This powerful, mythical passage portrays Xuela as being bitterly cruel, almost monster-like. As a reader, however, it is important to remember that it is her relentless fear of abandonment that lies behind her harsh words. After the abortion, the now almost horrified reader is pacified through the introduction of Roland, a man who carried